Friday, August 10, 2012

The Mars and Venus syndrome

Before I read an article which, I, almost have reproduced here, I really had no idea of the phrase, "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus!".
Read on to know what's the matter!  
MEN THINK IN BOXES AND WOMEN IN CONTINUUM: A woman experiences life as a continuum where every moment is connected. Therefore when she encounters a conflict in a relationship, a woman wants to stay and talk about it. When she is not listened to, she does not feel valued. She cannot move from one problem to another experience without the earlier one being resolved. In contrast, men think in boxes. It is like they have opened one box this moment, closed it the next minute and opened another.
RECOUNTING PAIN: When you share a painful experience, a woman may also share a similar experience that she has had. Her thought in sharing the experience is to convey that she understands the pain. A man will also narrate his experience in a similar situation but his focus and pride will be on how quickly he got out of the pain.
MEN TALK IN GENERAL AND WOMEN IN DETAILS: When you ask a man how he feels, he may give a vague answer and say that there are some difficulties. He is looking for solutions and wants to be left alone till he finds a way out. Whereas, a woman will want to share in detail how she feels, what made her feel that way etc. She dwells on the experience and expects her partner to be listen.
Men look at moving out of an experience quickly and finding solutions. This is to avoid feeling vulnerable when encountering conflicts. Women want to express their vulnerabilities and be understood. They want to be listened to, and given attention when they are sharing their experience.
Knowing such information helps in understanding the difference between the nature of men and women. The responses, which are the basis of complaints like the one given at the column’s beginning, are not to be looked at as against each other, but part of one’s nature.
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