Dark Den Mindspace

Somedays you simply get carried away, and contemplate life and decisions. You may choose to go back to the dark den you've in your mind space and call it life. Dark Den isn't a nice place to be, I promise. It gets colder and darker. It's all in your mind space. You choose. 

Also, it is easy to tell when you are drifting paths. The good path will keep you happy anyway, dark den would make you cold and numb. It is okay to be there for a while, but once you get in, you would never have a sense of time and space. You would only get carried away more and beyond. Choose wisely.

Be in control of your thoughts and decisions at all points in time. A delayed response is always better than hasty decisions. Calm your soul, think straight. Dark den mind space is hard to be in. You'd never want to be there. It would be a long way back, no matter how fast you try to return!

Glorious Past

Oh yes! This is not how it is now. This is photo manipulation. I did edit it. Saturated the colors, tweaked the white balance and what not.

But, I'm sure this is not even close to how it would have looked in the glorious past. Centuries have past, colors have faded, millions and millions have left their foot prints, many invasions, destructions, countless thunders and storms, days and nights have passed.

What intrigues me everytime I visit a historical place or a monument is how time stands still and take us to the past. Every stone laid, every carving that's etched, architecture and technology used, sometimes a few ancient things draw me so much that I would like to believe I happened to be present during that particular age and now I have just returned to the place. Sounds weird. But the kind of attraction I feel towards the ancient or historical things which we don't own or never visited is inexplicable. Crazy stuffs apart... What are we leaving behind ? Concrete buildings? Ruined monuments? E- waste and  deserts? Is there anything that's remarkable post independence - that would probably stay and astonish for centuries to come? Nothing that I know of. ☹️🙄.

Glorious Past

ನಮ್ಮ ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ

ನಮ್ಮ ಹೆಮ್ಮೆ✨ .

Thoughts...

God resides here. Under this beautiful ಗೋಪುರ, ಗರ್ಭ ಗುಡಿ . That passage has his foot steps, he does walk around. Oh! He's omnipresent... He's in those little ದೇವರ ಗೂಡು in your and my houses as well. He does walk around everywhere. Sometimes he paints the sky blue, sometimes red. Other times... a rainbow.. you name it, he has it! He's a ಕಲಾವಿದ. He knows what's right for you and me. He just put us out in his play, at times we play demons, and at the other times we play angels. Mid point? Cameo appearance. You see that? He does give us scope for adapting to different roles. Preparing us all for our highest good. You praise him, you blame him, nothing changes in his play. You believe it or not you're already in the characters he's put you in. If you're an atheist- that's your role here. If you're a believer, well that's just your role too. Don't get carried away. Chill. This all shall pass. Play your role. Pass on. Peace.

Via Blogspot for Android.
Just keeping the blog alive.

From Insta...

Sometimes,
Rather most often,
I feel disconnected from many people and many situations. I feel a void, I feel lack of information, lack of trust and lack of transparency.
Sometimes,
I be my own enemy,
I repel people who come close
And held people who want to repel.
Sometimes,
I see things aren't
What it is, and not even close
To what I had planned.
Not even a dot..
And then I look at the sky
Stare at the moon with no clue
I feel crippled.
I feel annoyed,
I feel loved,
I feel tied up.
I know,
I am all that is left
When I am in need of someone
Self sustainable survival.
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Moon after a long time. :)

A cold winter night and it's memoir

“No one is significant, no one is insignificant.”

                - KuVemPu (translated from “ಮಲೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಮದುಮಗಳು")

Preface:

2017 marks the 50^th anniversary of Kannada receiving its first Jnanapith for Sri Ramayana DarshaNam authored by Rashtra Kavi KuVemPu, and so does his novel “ಮಲೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಮದುಮಗಳು" (MalegaLalli MadumagaLu) a novel described by many as the finest novel in Kannada literature till date.  29^th December 2017 marks KuVemPu’s 113^th birth anniversary. To mark all these memorable spirits Bengaluru Centre of the National School of Drama and the Department of Kannada and Culture are jointly presenting the fourth edition of the theatre adaptation of this 750 pages- magnum opus by KuVemPu, starting 29^th December all upto 31^st Jan 2018.

When a friend of mine sent a poster of ಮಲೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಮದುಮಗಳು pure theatre show, at Kalagrama, Bengaluru, I wasn’t sure if I will book my tickets and be present there on 29^th night of December. It wasn’t easy for me to decide on -“9 hour long play all throughout the night”, that too in an open to air theatre. But yes, I took a chance and felt “adventurous" in spending a night in open air, far from home in a crowd of unknowns.  I took my sister along and the friend was there too.

First- hand experience:

Typical village set - stage 2

158 characters, 58 scenes, 30 songs and 70 artists from different districts and dialects unfolded the novel in 4 massive open air stages set at Kalagrama - meaning we (audience) need to move along with the play to all 4 stages, roughly for 2 hours each at different part of the play. This play was my first ever live theatre experience. (I know it’s unacceptable for anyone who’s in Bengaluru from long and have some degree of affection towards Art & Literature to have not visited “RangaShankara” even once. 2018 is here and you know what my goal is ;) ) 

 The stage was all set, the show was about to begin, I still doubted if we can stay all awake and survive the cold winter night in the open air with just a pull over hood.  The characters unfolded themselves and the background to each passing character was given by “Jogappa” – a person native to village who presents stories from far lands to the villagers – stories can be a piece of fiction or pertaining to real people. The whole art of story telling lies in making the story exorbitantly real and suiting to the social morals and evils so much that it becomes a part of the unheard society without hesitation. 

Stage 2-  where a vibrant drama laughter 
took place

Set up in 19^th century, MalegaLalli maDhumagaLu - particular to malenaadu region - depicts the conflict in the complex traditions and the fascinating modernity, an internal fight between an individual and the society, a suppressing upper hand and an oppressed lower cadre of the society - a common sight anywhere in the world from 19^th century.  There is no important character in this novel; every character has its own role to play.  The whole play revolves around these ideas and doesn’t lose its relevance to the present day society at even times.

Although the author says “No one is significant, no one is insignificant.” in the novel, to me the brave and kind heart “Gutthi”, innocence of “Aitha” and the charm of “Peenchulu” stood out! The person who played the dog character “Huliya” was immensely impressive. What an artist he is, he never hesitated to eat the soiled rice, never delayed to howl and squeal -like a dog, imbibing the mannerisms of a dog, playing the dog –which is an important role in the play.

A scene from stage 4 - place
 where the dots get connected.

However when I look at this play as a piece of art, it is the dedication of the entire crew behind and more prominently the artists- that shows up-front. Like I mentioned earlier it was freezing outside, we- audience were all fully covered top to bottom, a few had their helmets on while a few (may be from their previous experiences) had even arranged a quilt and pillows wrapping themselves in blankets, while the artists had bare minimum clothing to suit the “ಮಲೆನಾಡು” outfit from the 19^th century – a blouseless Saree, a humble panchae, mostly!! The artists didn’t show a sign of chill or shiver in their body even when the cold breeze hit the mic making hushhhh noise. They were so well trained and ready that they all seemed to be super heroes at that moment, beating the cold and not showing a sign of it affecting them; their voices were so loud and clear as they delivered their verses. They ran around the place yet their voices never heaved a sigh or gasp for breath! At the stage 4 - the river scene was set up, as the play advanced there came a time when Gutthi jumps into the river in search of Huliya, oh my god! To me this was the highlight of the play. 

The End of the play where the artists were introduced!

Lighting, live music and the artists, what a commemoration of a novel in the theatrical setup of the 19th century backdrop.  I am yet to sink in the ideas behind the novel but as of now I have only given a perception per-se my vision on the play. Finally! Yes, I did survive the cold night, so did the others who gathered there. Sleep deprived for a good reason.

Sunsets. . .

ಸೂರ್ಯಾಸ್ತ.

I so want to write a long caption for this pic. Read on if you will.
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It so happened to me yesterday, as if I were lost in a sea of thoughts. Thoughts crumbled and rumbled, a few were pleasant ones, a few were uncategorized. A mixture of emotions flood through my veins. I could almost feel the explosion. I could see how vulnerable a human as strong as I can get, when a storm of thoughts hit so hard. I could not decide if it were the thoughts or the vulnerability that was more painful. When uncertainty threatens the creature inside you, no surprise you'll shiver and shake. But as the sun set along the horizon, I felt a strange trance, as if to calm down that scared creature in me. I felt breeze in my hair again, I could feel my heart beat normal and I felt a strange relief. If this is what a sunset could do... I wonder how many more sunset I get to see in silence. Grasping every change it make to my mind and body. There is a strange connection to my soul and the celestial bodies. The Sun, the moon, the stars and the skies spell a charm everytime.
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#dreamersdiary #inspiresomeone
Follow me on instagram @kanasugaarthi
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Books, thoughts and photography

Happiness is Books... Books are love... Fresh smell of the prints and the crisp texture of the pages...how much I missed this. 😍 Back to books feels so alive already. Flipkart is delivering books in batches and one more batch is yet to come... Can't wait.. won't wait.. "Letters from Kargil" is half way through... Yes, I read it at work today in the tiny whiny free slots I got. Very small book though... And as you can see... "India's Most fearless" and "Mission Overseas" are queued... These books are from the genres I never before indulged into but only read as a piece of News item. Trust me I'm a fan of this genre now. That doesn't mean no more fictions & novels... "The boy who loved", " Everyone has a story", "All Rights Reserved For You"  in queue as well...

From Balamangala ( ಬಾಲ ಮಂಗಳ ) to Harry Potter. From Jeffery Archer to Sheldon. From Chetan Bhagat to Durjoy. From John Green to Haruki Murakami. 

From Bhairappa (ಬೈರಪ್ಪ) to Khaled Hosseini... And then APJ's books to the mainstream Biographies &True factual books... Yeah... some where... the avid book reader still resides in me..! 🙂 😅😅😍😍📚📓📙📘

Also these are the first books I bought in my earnings. That's something special for me.

Grounded!

Get hold of all the green you can - while you can! Cause we humankind being so cruel, are chopping down old and elegant trees all around.
Some citing road widening as the reason,
while for the others
it's hazardous during the rainy season!
Behold, the giants are on the way,
Screaming for attention, screaming for space!
For them unrooting a tree is task of minutes.
Years that it took for the trees to grow
Spread it branches, Trying to touch the sky.
Not sure if it did or not, but for us - the selfish beings- it showered with generous shade, generous air!
In return, we are giving it exactly the opposite of what it wanted - making it touch the ground. Shattering the dreams of years to touch the sky!
"Sky is so high darling, you better stay grounded!"
Sarcasm apart, I see the reasons apt sometimes and some other times I see the selfish beings- getting stronger yet again. I feel sorry for the trees, I feel helpless at the least. Civilisation that we call this as, seems to be nothing but destroying almost everything that naturally occurs, just to suffice and serve the needs of the human kind.
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#Bengaluru #karnataka #India #DreamersDiary

It's the rain again...

Rain does cleanse a lot of things...
Souls that are wrapped in dirt,
minds that get soiled deep,
bodies that are full of restless thoughts...
Rain does cleanse a lot of things.
Things that are no longer living, things that are just breathing shall RESPIRE for a while...
Today happened to be a strangest day in a while. I sat looking at the rain, letting the wind splash those droplets from heaven onto my face, restless than ever.

Like that Syrian kid who said, "I will tell God everything!" before getting shot, I stared at the sky rumbling some rantings, hoping God to do something phenomenal immediately! A lightning striked, as if God heard me and it was a sign of assurance. Felling better since then. Tired still as if a long ridden FEVER just passed out. I slept all evening and woke up now only to post this. But yes... When I go up there, I will tell God everything! Every damn thing.

Rain does cleanse a lot of things. Isn't it?

#instagram post : www.instagram.com/kanasugaarthi

Green Love - ಹಸಿರು ಪ್ರೀತಿ 💕

Take your time in a day out, just to gaze or literally STARE at the GREEN around you!!! I will tell you why... But If you have less time just jump to last paragraph.

Green, the color of life, nature, freshness, energy, growth, harmony, safety, fertility and environment. The color Green has healing relaxing power that is said to be soothing for the human eye to view. Also Green can help enhance vision. Green takes up more space in the spectrum visible to the human eye, it is the dominant color in the nature. Green is when all of the plants are coming back to life - fresh and healthy! Physically and mentally Green is soothing, restful & youthful. Green is a color that helps alleviate anxiety, depression and nervousness. Green also brings with it a sense of hope, health, adventure, and renewal, as well as self-control, compassion, and harmon. Green is directly related to nature and energy, so it is also commonly used to represent and promote ‘green’ products.

A study on color says, "Too much green can cause people to become placid, lazy, slow, moody, depressed, and lethargic. Too little green can cause feelings of apathy and fear of rejection."

She... A kind of short story.

She woke up to realise how badly she was hurt yet managed to smile. Smile to the world outside and to shut her inside off. She wasn't a grown up yet. She still kept the child in her merry and alive. Childlike, childish, a child- still. She knew numbers can't define her life. Numbers can only keep a count of years, but not of the memories she had for all her life. She cherished her life, she was an oasis of happiness, people who stood away could see a ring of aura around her. She never gave out her secrets to the people whom she kept close, rarely, that would ever happen. She knew there's no one who could understand and yet stay with her for any longer. She no longer believed in fairy tales. Deep within her was a river of uncertainty. Not so composed, calm, strong as she seems outside. She knew she's fragile, she knew she had to build a wall to survive. She lives even today under a blanket of moon lit sunshine. She is a moon with a Sun kissed smile. A smile that charms. A smile that hides, a smile that never give a hint of shades and shadows beneath it's skin.

Three Years Ago...

22 March 2016 😍

What can I say about this day?? 22 March has been a very special day ever since this happened!!! A childhood dream... Say when I was in 7th...I had this dream... I walk past a car which was having Dr. APJ in it... And as I run past to shake hands with him... His car vanishes... Just miss! Several times... I used to get this same weird saddening dream. I missed it again, once again and then this dream never made me sad anymore. Felt atleast in dreams I have this opportunity to see him :') 💕

But on 22 March 2013 it was a dream come true and beyond. We students at college got to know before hand that APJ Sir will be present for the college's 4th decennial celebration. My heart raced like a jet, what a great opportunity. My Appa asked me, " Your greatest inspiration is coming to your college and what will you present to him??", I told him, there are thousands of students... Will I even be able to get near him... Appa continued, "But then what if you? Who knows what happens... You should not repent later you see.. ", That's it, now I wanted to do something and all I had was a little bit of sketching skills - that again - all credits to Appa!!! I did a sketch of him the previous night, I was thrilled. Though I was the College President (science forum), that day all students were treated alike, for security purpose. I then gave a hint to my beloved Lecturer, asked her opinion on the sketch, she made me talk to the princi... She agreed!!!! Wow. I was able to present my silly amateur, unartistic pencil sketch to his highness, humbleness personified, great human, great leader, huuuggggeeee inspiration to the mankind Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam Sir.

This was not all! Prior to this there was much more for me to cherish 22 March 2013, not just as a day on the calendar but more like a day where I was overly blessed with luck.

Starting from 11AM, excitement was in air, auditorium was full with students, only those who would be asking questions were allowed to sit in gallery, while the rest in the balcony!

He arrived, all stood up, I saw him enter the auditorium, Iwas in tears of joy! I was on the same floor where my inspiration was walking! Damn in the same auditorium while he's waving hand at us. All eyes on him, not a single blink went without noticing him, and then he gave a formal opening to the ceremony followed by his motivational talks to us. He even took into consideration 1000s of students who were sitting outside the auditorium in the college grounds watching live relay of the same, their scream of excitement touched the ceiling of the auditorium. After his speech, the moment had come. Questionnaire!

A week before this event, we had to write in all our questions in a sheet of paper and drop into a box, after the screening process, a number be allotted so that APJ will be asked important, reasonable questions first. Of course I did drop my question! Who wouldn't want to? And luckily, I recieved a call previous day from a lecturer that my question was selected as the first question to be asked. And I better come to college without fail. 😀😂.

Cloud 9? Nah! What's cloud? I was in an undefined state of excitement!!! Now that made a point clear, even if I can't take a picture with him, I'd still be allowed to ask a question for sure! My allotted number was 1! So even if he allows 5 minutes of questionnaire amidst his busy schedule, I'd still be getting a chance! You know what I mean.

.

I stood up first, asked him my question and then...

APJ Sir: Good, what class are you studying?

Me : *answers*

APJ: what combination have you taken?

Me: * so excited, we're having a convo!!! Answered this too *

APJ Sir: what is your dream?

Me: * I'm beaming cheek to cheek!! I forgot who I am for a second. I was 😁ing unbelievably in a convo?? Me? Really? And then gain conscious, try to answer that...*

APJ Sir: No, my idea was, you've asked a good question!

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The hand  kerchief I had that day has my first ever sequential tears of joy. Haven't even washed it, it's preserved in my treasure box.

Power of Speech - 4

See... This is not the end. Nothing is an end for anything in this life as long as you're breathing. Today you closed a chapter, tomorrow you might close this book. But some day your heart might wish to open the same book from that locked corners of your mind, blow the dust and start reading it all over again. Or may be you might burn this all at once. There, a new book might get in, sequence repeats, might seem same at the beginning or might sound different at a first look... Trust me, nothing is predictable. Things you predict might come true even when it was not destined, here, your "wish come true", types happen. Some other times you anticipate something and something else happens, here it's, "...it was all destined", types.
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Trying to figure it out is a Bigggggg fattt lie.
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Love. Smile. Peace.
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#DreamerSDiary 12 Jan 2016

Peace in Chaos

Buddha sat there while the crowd had their piece of his sight and made their own belief of throwing a coin into that cement walled water place. Neither had Buddha asked Nor was there any boards asking them to do so. This is how blind belief emerges. I witnessed this sight with two of my buddies. Buddies and Buddha - silence and peace.

PIC : Pyramid Valley, Bangalore, Karnataka, INDIA.

07 January 2016

New Year... New me.

The Truth is I no longer give a damn to what others have to say! My fresh 365 days are in front of me soon *more literally in my case* and all I choose to do is to make myself happy and proud for how I will have spent these days.

Simple yet complicated act is to love yourself, for all the good things you do and good deeds you perform. You're a charming soul inside. All you need to do is to carry your self off pretty well in sync with the inner you. Why fall for someone temporary when you can fall in love with yourself permanently. 😉💕 *No, I am not Sheila from Sheila Ki Jawani, we share same feelings, may be. 😜*
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#nikonp600 #instagramPost

Power of Speech-3

It's never too late to Recover.
A simple conversation with ourselves and we will find what went wrong.
It's never too late to Apologize either, my friend! We never become small by saying "I am sorry." or by doing things to make others forget hurt feelings caused by us.
And
Its never too late to Forgive.
We only gain the bondings we shared with that relation by forgiving. We let them be a part of our joy and life, by forgiving.
Most of all, you won't be brooding over the loss of that relationship cause you'll never lose a person you loved by letting things back to normal. And it's damn easy to forgive and forget, than to remember and regret!
So far in my life I have recovered from my failures, I have apologized for my mistakes and I have forgiven the people I love.
And the best part is I have all my people with me, and I have no Regrets.
~ PraJna DreameR ��
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#powerofspeech

Struggle

One night sky.
Emotions were held so tight
Not a tear drop fell onto the ground
It was the heart that was bleeding
By the knives thrown by known strangers.
Struggling was not the right description
Yet guilt wasn't near either.
Betrayal of known people
People so close and dear.
A loner soul, all over again
Shut her eyes to the tears that trembled
Wiping down her face.
Face that once was bright with grace
Is now a damp flower in a vase.
~ PraJna DreameR

Power of Speech -2

Don't let people judge you!
Don't let your feelings be belittled.
Learn to value your feelings first.
It's true you live in a society where you need one another for bonding but not at the cost of losing yourself.
Happiness doubles when shared, True, but '... others happiness is our happiness. ' is a lie,
When your feelings aren't valued,
When your presence isn't appreciated,
When you're treated as a dead entity,
When you're Taken For Granted,
Learn To Respect Your Self, Stop caring more than you're suppose to and gain courage to Walk Away!

Hiding what you feel and what you're undergoing because of someone's faults is an Emotional Suicide! Stop Committing it.
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Walk Away!
Walk towards your self!
Value your self.
Just learn to walk away!

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#GodOfSmallThings
#inspireSomeone #powerofspeech #iamWriting #DreameRsDiary #LifeOfALoner

Nameless..

Several hurdles,
Painful words,
Bee stings, endless quarrels.
Dodge one, the other comes.
Broken pieces,
couldn't be put back in shape.
Opposite Ends never met.
Lies that what this eyes sees,
Lies that what this heart feels.
Lies that everything that exists,
At present.
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Tarnished character.
Torn pages of diaries.
Hurtful memories.
No matter what changes were made,
Compromises were so single sided.
Expectations, that never met.
Help that never arrived.
Soul that still survived.
Life of a loner.
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~ PraJna DreameR
#DreameRsDiary

Kill Them With Success, Bury Them With Smile!

When you have set your sail to the roaring wind,
You should not waste time thinking about the haphazard way it is moving you in, not about the way the wind is pushing you off the sail, not about the hustling leaves,  sand and dust that's getting into your eyes.

But you should process your thoughts towards finding a way to reach your destination amidst the odds.

People will pull you down when you fail, stone you for every inch you fall. They'll speak. They'll never listen to your excuses.

This is when you should dust your self off and raise to your original glory. Like a Phoenix a fire bird from ashes, rise, higher and higher. Shut the talking mouths with your success. Make your voice lower,  but make your comeback sound higher.
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What are you thinking about?
Go ahead!
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Kill Them With Success,
Bury Them With Smile!
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~ @kanasugaarthi �� (instagram / twitter)